Greetings from Costa Maya! It’s day 4 of 7 on this western Caribbean cruise on the newest Carnival Fun Ship, Carnival Celebration. Let’s talk for a brief moment about Costa Maya, shall we?
Costa Maya is one of those ports, like Freeport in the Bahamas, that you stop and ask, “Why would anyone want to come here?” The answer is, “They don’t.” However, as opposed to more desirable ports, Costa Maya is cheap for cruise lines to use and provides their guests with “something” to do – even if it’s just to get off the ship, walk around, and leave.
When it comes to things to do, there isn’t much! Walking around the port you’ll find your various vendors selling their wares, bars to get your drunk on, an aviary to check out flamingos and other feathered friends, and if so inclined – swim with dolphins which some may say is cruel. You can also take a tour to see Mayan ruins – which may or may not be authentic, you be the judge.
The Carnival Celebration shared the port with two Royal Caribbean ships and a Virgin Voyages ship, so there was a lot of activity out on the dock. On board the ship, it appeared a good percentage of my fellow travelers held the same opinion of Costa Maya as the ship was pretty full of guests.
I had a few work meetings today, so I turned the outdoor seating area for Guy’s Pig & Anchor Smokehouse | Brewhouse into my office. The Internet kept up with video conferencing without any buffering or degradation in video quality. Carnival offers three different Internet packages:
- Social: Allows access to popular social media platforms and apps, like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, Snapchat, and major airline websites. However, it doesn’t include access to other websites or applications. $12.75 per person / per day.
- Value: Browse favorite websites, including email, news, sports, weather, banking, and finance. However, it doesn’t support Skype calling or music/video streaming platforms like Spotify or Netflix. $17.00 per person / per day.
- Premium: This plan “guarantees the fastest connection possible,” with speeds up to three times faster than the Value plan. It supports various communication methods, including email and video calls, and platforms like Skype, Zoom, and Teams where coverage is available. $18.00 per person / per day.
I pre-purchased the Premium plan and have had no issues with dead spots, video, streaming, video conferencing, browsing, etc. Upload speeds are pretty slow, as the photos for these posts take a while to upload so more will be added when I’m back on land.
Now, about all those people who decided to stay on the ship… they all decided to go to lunch at the same time I wanted to grab a quick bite. Since it was a port day, not all the quick service spots were open until later in the day, so choices were a bit limited.
With that said, the buffet wasn’t happening as there were lines for the food stations, Big Chicken also had a winding queue, but Guy’s Burgers wasn’t that much of a wait as they really crank those burgers out.
The burgers from Guy’s aren’t bad. Greasy AF, and you can load them up with whatever toppings you want from lettuce to chili. The fries that come with them are average at best, but if you’re nursing a hangover and are in desperate need of a cure, Guy’s Burgers is your Waffle House on this ship.
Speaking of the buffet. So there are plenty of places to eat on board, whether you’re paying extra or going with what’s included, so in my opinion, the buffet should be your last resort for lunch or dinner. The lunch and dinner choices on the buffet are very limited as are the number of stations. Each station has anywhere from 10 to 12 items plus a salad bar and desserts. There is definitely less variety of buffet food on here than I’ve seen on other ships/lines.
All aboard time was 4:30 pm and we were the first ship to pull out and head to our next destination – Mahogany Bay in Roatan, Honduras. I returned to my stateroom to watch the sail away from my balcony and relax before dinner. However, once again, the smell of weed was abundant. The 20-somethings in the stateroom next to me were lighting up and blasting music over their portable speaker making staying outside less than enjoyable.
Now, I will readily admit, I’m the curmudgeonly old man who will yell, “Hey kids! Get off my lawn!” if I actually had a lawn. But here’s the deal. Carnival makes it very well known, as I have pointed out many times already, that they have zero tolerance for marijuana onboard and also have portable speakers on their “we will confiscate” list. But this is nothing more than words printed on paper and painted on signs.
I went down to guest services as “that guy” and expressed my disappointment in the ability to enjoy my balcony without constantly having to smell weed. They looked up who was next to me, made a note in the computer, and told me that the next time it happens to call. I questioned, “What is that going to do?” Apparently, the first complaint will get a warning, and subsequent complaints will end up with a $500 per occurrence fine.
I’m not one to make it a point to ruin one’s vacation by complaining in order to get them fined, but Carnival has a problem that they need to take seriously instead of just passing it off as the norm, which seems to be the case. I will definitely have more on this subject once I return home.
Dinner tonight is in the ship’s teppanyaki restaurant, Bonsai. The restaurant only has three hibachi tables, so seating is very limited and it’s best to make reservations before, or as early in the cruise as possible, in order to secure a spot. I originally had booked a reservation for myself, but called to see if that could be turned into two, and was easily accommodated.
Before heading up for that 9 pm dinner reservation, I was in the mood to make another donation to Micky Arison’s retirement fund so I stopped at the casino. I put $50 into a machine at the same time a woman next to me put $20 in. In the amount of time, it took me to blow through that Ulysses S. Grant and walk away with nothing, she was up to $450.
Knowing that my luck would not change, I decided to call it quits. I stopped at Cherry On Top, the ship’s candy store where you can buy candy in bulk to increase your sugar intake and test your dental insurance back home. I put a few scoops of licorice and sour cherry balls into a bag, had it weighed, and forked over almost $9.
The dinner bell rang so we headed over to Bonsai Teppanyaki where we waited a few minutes before they opened the door and sat us at the table. The meal is a seven-course experience for $38 per person.
The meal starts out with the first four courses being served one by one: spicy tuna on the rocks, pork belly yakitori, teppanyaki white shrimp, miso soup, and kabuki salad.
Some notes on those: The shrimp were grilled with heads and tails on, which the teppanyaki chef removed prior to handing them over. They were tough and the shell was stuck to the meat making them a bit of a struggle to enjoy.
The spicy tuna wasn’t spicy at all, but regular seared tuna served over ice. The two pieces were tender and delicious.
All of us at the table agreed that the pork belly yakitori had a strange texture to it. It was mostly fat but did have a nice smoky flavor to it. It was served with one sesame asparagus “fry” even though the menu said “fries.”
The soup and salad were just what one would expect from… soup and salad.
Now that those were out of the way, the Teppanyaki chef started with his “act” as he cooked our meal. Rocky Aoki would be proud that his vision of showmanship coupled with cooking is still alive and well outside of Benihana. There has to be a script that comes with every teppanyaki table sold, as no matter where you are the same old “tricks” are performed and the same jokes are told.
Yes, we all know more saki, more happy.
Yes, Japanese Coca Cola.
Yes, Japanese egg roll.
Yes, volcano.
Don’t get me wrong, each time I’m at one of these restaurants it’s always a good time and I have never had a bad meal at any hibachi or teppanyaki joint, but it’s comical that the routine is the same no matter where you go.
For the main entree, you have the choice of salmon, lobster, shrimp, grilled chicken, tofu, cod, or filet mignon, or you can double those up into a combo of your choice. While the menu does have set combos, there was no problem making up your own such as steak and chicken which wasn’t an option.
The chef was also very accommodating with those with preferences such as no peppers, or extra well done on the filet (who does that??).
The fried rice was next and it was fantastic. More rice, more power. Right?
Then came the main course, I went with filet and chicken with my filet prepared rare which it was – perfectly. The flavors of the meat and the veggies were fantastic and everyone at the table agreed that their dinner was delicious.
But it wasn’t over yet, despite the fact that we were all pretty full. Dessert was up next and it came out in a bento box and included six different things: green tea ice cream, pistachio cake, chilled strawberry soup, creme brulee, chocolate, and a chocolate-covered strawberry.
Delicious and a great way to top off what I am now considering the best meal of the trip so far – a step above the first night’s Peking duck and even the steakhouse. The food and the experience definitely make this worth the $38 per person upcharge.
That was it for me – as after all that food it was time to call it a night. Upon returning to my room, there was a note letting me know that balconies were being cleaned tomorrow and to make sure to “cover-up.”
Do I have to?