Ah, the great ocean breeze, the calming sound of waves, the feel of warm sunshine on your skin, and… no deck chairs in sight? Welcome to the world of chair hogs! If you’ve been on a cruise or are planning one, chances are you’ve heard tales of this notorious species. Chair hogs are those crafty passengers who wake up at the crack of dawn, reserve prime deck chairs with towels, books, or flip-flops, and then disappear for hours while you wander around like a lost tourist in search of a seat.
But never fear, fellow cruiser. We’re going to dive into the phenomenon of chair hogging, why it happens, and—most importantly—how you can deal with them (and maybe even beat them) while keeping your sanity intact.
The Art of Chair Hogging
Chair hogging is, unfortunately, one of the darker sides of cruise ship culture. Typically, a chair hog will rise before breakfast, stake their claim on a choice lounge chair by the pool or in the solarium, leave a few personal items to mark their territory, and then vanish for a suspiciously long amount of time. We’re talking hours here, folks. They’ll be off at the buffet, in the spa, or exploring the ship while their towel basks in the sunshine you so desperately wanted.
To some, this might sound like a harmless strategy. But if you’re the one stuck wandering the deck, it’s nothing short of infuriating! You’ve paid good money for this vacation, and part of the deal was lounging in the sun, right?
Why Chair Hogging Happens
At its core, chair hogging is a combination of fear of missing out (FOMO) and good old-fashioned human selfishness. There’s a limited number of prime sunbathing real estate on any cruise ship, and some passengers are determined to ensure they don’t miss out. But instead of sticking around to actually use the chairs, they treat them like a safety net—something to fall back on whenever they feel like it.
In a way, chair hogs are driven by the same forces that make us queue up for hours to get the latest iPhone or snag front-row seats at a concert: the need to secure a limited resource. Unfortunately, in the world of cruise ships, the resource is deck chairs, and there’s no polite way to say “hands off my lounger!”
So, How Do You Deal with Chair Hogs?
Now that we understand why chair hogs exist, let’s talk about how to deal with them. It can be tempting to grab someone’s towel and fling it overboard, but there are more civil ways to handle the situation.
1. Know the Chair Hoggery Rules
Many cruise lines have official policies against chair hogging, though enforcement can vary. For example, some ships have a “30-minute rule” where if a chair is left vacant for more than 30 minutes, staff can remove the personal items and free it up for others.
Before your cruise, do a little research to see what the ship’s policy is regarding chair hogging. If you see that no one has been sitting at a chair for a suspiciously long time, notify a crew member—they’re usually happy to help enforce the rule.
2. Be an Early Bird (But Not a Chair Hog)
If you’re desperate for a prime sunbathing spot, your best bet is to rise early and claim your chair—but here’s the catch: actually use it! Sure, get up a little earlier than you’d like, but once you’ve got that prized spot, stick around. Read a book, sip some coffee, take in the ocean views. This way, you can enjoy your seat and prevent others from accusing you of being a chair hog yourself.
3. Strike Up a Friendly Chat
Sometimes, a little social interaction goes a long way. If you notice someone hogging a chair, a friendly chat might nudge them into reconsidering their actions. Try something like, “Oh, I noticed this chair has been empty for a while—are you planning on coming back soon?” This can remind people that they’re taking up space without confrontation. Of course, this works best if you deliver it with a smile and not a scowl.
4. Adopt a “Share and Share Alike” Attitude
You’re on vacation—so why not spread the good vibes? If you’re lounging on a chair and notice someone struggling to find a seat, offer to share your spot for a bit or rotate turns. You might be surprised at how grateful people are when you extend a little kindness, and this could be the start of a great vacation friendship!
5. Find Hidden Gems on the Ship
Not all chair hogs congregate around the pool deck—there are often hidden gems all over the ship where you can relax in peace. Look for quieter areas like the ship’s promenade, adults-only retreats, or even balconies with less foot traffic. Some ships even have secluded lounge areas tucked away that offer just as much sun without the hustle and bustle of the main deck. It might take a little exploring, but your perfect spot is out there.
6. Bring Your Own Chair
Okay, this one’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, but if you’re really determined to have a chair, why not bring your own? A lightweight, foldable chair that fits into a beach bag can be a lifesaver if all the loungers are claimed. You can easily set up shop in a quiet corner of the deck or even next to the pool, and you’ll have your own spot without the chair-hogging drama. Of course, check with your cruise line to see if such a thing is allowed, although many bring these types of chairs to use on the private islands. The ultimate decision to allow or not allow rests on security at your embarkation port.
What Not to Do
As tempting as it is to retaliate, resist the urge to wage war on the chair hogs. Don’t throw their belongings into the pool or give them a free trip overboard (as much as that may seem satisfying). While chair hogs can be frustrating, remember that you’re on vacation to relax and unwind—not to start a feud with your fellow cruisers.
Chair hogs are a universal annoyance on cruises, but with a little patience and strategy, you can still enjoy your time in the sun. Whether it’s rising a little earlier to snag a spot, politely asking for help from the crew, or finding a hidden nook on the ship, there are ways to avoid letting chair hogs ruin your day.
Ultimately, a cruise is about relaxation, so don’t let the quest for the perfect lounge chair stress you out. At the end of the day, you’re surrounded by incredible views, delicious food, and endless entertainment options—so kick back, and enjoy your vacation, chair hogs be darned!