Carnival Cruise Line is known for its fun-filled atmosphere, affordable cruises, and a wide variety of activities and dining options. But let’s be real: not everything that glitters on a Carnival ship is gold (by-the-inch). There are some things that get a lot of hype, but when you dig a little deeper, you might wonder what all the fuss is about. Whether you’re a Carnival newbie or a seasoned cruiser, here’s a (maybe) tongue-in-cheek rundown of the top five most overrated things on a Carnival cruise.
1. Guy’s Burger Joint
Ah, Guy’s Burger Joint, the holy grail of greasy goodness on Carnival ships. People rave about these burgers like they’re the best thing since sliced bread, but let’s break it down: they’re just burgers. Yes, they are popular. Yes, they are greasy, heavy, artery-clogging burgers. Yes, they’re good at soaking up the alcohol after you’ve gone wild with the drink package (hands up if you’ve ever been cut off at 15!), but are they really the culinary masterpieces that everyone makes them out to be?
Lines for these burgers can stretch longer than a Black Friday sale at lunchtime. You’ll find yourself waiting, and waiting, and waiting, all for a burger that is on par with say… Wendy’s. And don’t even get me started on the toppings bar—yes, it’s cool to pile on the onions and pickles, but does that really elevate the burger to legendary status? Not really. Let’s call it what it is: a decent, greasy burger. Just don’t fall into the trap of thinking these are the best burgers you’ll ever have.
2. Alchemy Bar
Now, I know I might take some heat for this one, but hear me out. The Alchemy Bar is beloved by many, and yes, it’s got that cool apothecary vibe that makes you feel like you’re about to drink a potion that will turn you into a cocktail-loving wizard. But if you’re a fan of spirit-forward drinks, particularly those made with bourbon or whiskey, you might find yourself disappointed.
The drink menu at Alchemy Bar is heavy on rum, gin, and vodka, but where’s the love for whiskey? You won’t find any whiskey drinks on the menu here, so you’ll have to ask and see if they’ll make you that Black Manhattan with two Luxcardo cherries. And good luck finding a seat at this bar, especially during peak times. You’re better off heading to the Pig & Anchor Bar, where the bourbon and whiskey options are more plentiful, and you can enjoy your drink without having to elbow your way to the bar. The Alchemy Bar may look cool, but for serious whiskey lovers, it’s more sizzle than steak.
3. Karaoke
Karaoke is a staple of cruise entertainment, and Carnival is no exception. But let’s be honest—karaoke should have been left on land, along with those neon workout clothes from the ’80s. There’s nothing like sitting through off-key renditions of “Don’t Stop Believin’” or “Bohemian Rhapsody” by people who’ve had one too many cocktails.
Sure, some folks might enjoy the cringe factor, but after the third or fourth round of tone-deaf crooning, it starts to feel like a cruel and unusual punishment. Karaoke is one of those things that sounds fun in theory but is a train wreck in practice. Maybe it’s time to find a new form of entertainment that doesn’t involve earplugs and a stiff drink.
4. Liquor Tasting in the Gift Shops
Who doesn’t love free booze? Carnival’s gift shops know this and use it to their advantage with liquor tastings. On the surface, it sounds great—free shots of Hennessy, anyone? But let’s not kid ourselves; the real goal here is to get you to buy a bottle (or six) to take home. And those bottles? They’re often marked up compared to what you’d pay on land, even if they are duty-free.
The lines for these tastings can be as long as the ones for Guy’s Burgers, and for what? A tiny shot of liquor that’s meant to loosen your wallet more than anything else. If you’re a fan of fine spirits, you might find yourself underwhelmed by the selection. So, next time you see a crowd forming in the gift shop, remember: there’s no such thing as a free shot.
5. The Main Dining Room
Finally, we’ve saved the most overrated thing for last: the Main Dining Room (MDR). There, I said it. For all the nostalgia and tradition surrounding cruise ship dining, the MDR on Carnival is, at best, a step above a chain buffet restaurant. Yes, I’m talking Golden Corral-level here. And before you come at me with your forks raised, let’s just acknowledge the truth: the food in the MDR has seen better days.
Since COVID, the quality of the food in the MDR has taken a nosedive, and while Carnival has never been known for gourmet dining at sea, the MDR experience is now something to be avoided rather than anticipated.
If you really want to enjoy a great meal on your Carnival cruise, skip the MDR altogether and splurge on one of the specialty dining options like the steakhouse, hit up the Italian restaurant, or splurge on some seafood at the Seafood Shack. Sure, it’ll cost you a little extra, but you’re paying for quality, not just quantity. Plus, you’ll avoid the inevitable disappointment of that overcooked steak or bland pasta dish. Trust me, your taste buds will thank you.
Final Thoughts
Carnival Cruise Line has a lot to offer, and there are plenty of things to love about sailing with them. But just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s the best thing ever. Sometimes, it’s worth looking past the hype and discovering your own hidden gems on board. Whether it’s finding a quiet corner of the ship to enjoy a drink or exploring lesser-known dining options, there’s more to Carnival than the overrated spots everyone talks about.
So, next time you’re on a Carnival cruise, go ahead and try Guy’s Burgers, the Alchemy Bar, or even the MDR—but don’t be afraid to venture off the beaten path. You might just find something that’s truly worth the rave reviews.